How Not To Buy Best Girl Condom

How Not To Buy Best Girl Condom

    

Enter Engle Quick Shop. I hate it. Worst of all the world beside amoebic dysentery. Take a basket.  

Throw a bottle of antifreeze, heat magazine two TV dinners, cupcakes, ignition parts and the juice of two liters candles. Look at the store. There are still too many people.  

Throw in a bottle of cream for diaper rash Nissan, a bag of cotton swabs, something called "gripe water".  

 

See now almost empty except for a lady - wish - at the counter. Shit. Maybe by the time I leave request. (It is not, evidentially.)  

Framework to quickly scan condom - I'll find out bitch - Christ - and a note asking first brand I see in 0.2 seconds condoms SCANNING.  

Be cool. Be cool. Oh God, pretend you're normal.  

Enter first purchase of Condom obstacle.  

 

Lady ironically named discreetly behind the counter: That's all? [Scans all]  

Peas: Uh no. Eructates not laugh, hold together. Hold. P. Ensemble.  

A box of Marlboro Lights and ... [lowers voice] Stop blushing, damn I can light my fire, and uh .. a part of, you know, Fatherliness. [The last word is a whisper, because everyone can hear me.]  

Lady: Some what?  

Peas: [gritted teeth] pen. Elites.  

Lady: A lighter?  

Peas: Sure, why not.  

     

Dame is listed above. What the fuck up. I can not choose now. As always, I start laughing hysterically, blushing and I intend to play with my cell phone. Push the buttons furiously.  

OK. Breathe. Ask again.  

 

   

Peas: Ah ... and a box of Etherizes.  

Lady: Oh Etherize condoms?  

Peas: [] squeaks.  

Lady: CEOS? [Points. Might as well have a strobe light on the top of my head right now.]  

Pea [. Jesus Christ, fuck] Yeah Now THIS STORE know what I'm doing tonight, why not announce through the speaker?  

Damn, too late ...  

   

Lady: CONSTANCE! Constance! fatherliness.  

Constance: Elisha wen. What?  

Peas: You know what, forget it.  

Lady: You want Etherizes or not?  

Peas: Fine.  

Madame fatherliness, there! A mesenteries, DUE, fatherliness, WEN! Abnegate!  

Peas: [softly] I'll kill myself.  

Fell, red, laugh and do not get out and stumble upon a brick.  

 

Brick hit me in a sense: it's time to seek another method of contraception that can not handle it (a hormone-free.). Why, my God, why not store condoms in the hallway as another damn good? So you can choose for myself?  

For the love of fuck, towels and tampons are in the hallway, why not condoms too? Probably ask me Blush "Kate Maxi carpet" or "Billets heavy flow," hell. For this purpose only people like me too ashamed.

  

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